Photo Credit: Andrew Salinas/@AK_4hoto7

Hello my fellow readers! As Valentine’s Day came and went, I noticed on social media that a lot of people were bringing up old thoughts and feelings for their ex-boyfriends/girlfriends. Many expressed how lonely they were and missed the companionship they held with their significant other, specifically their friendship. So a question that has dawned upon me, and has also been suggested by others: Can you be friends with your ex?

Remember, this is my opinion on this situation and I am in no way asking you to carry out everything I say or suggest.

Exes. Ouch. I think this question is a tricky and delicate question to tackle. Everyone has different relationships. Depending on how long the relationship lasted or how it ended, the reconnection for friendship could or could not be there.

If a healthy relationship ended really well, then go for it. But, there are a couple things to keep in mind when trying to establish a friendship:

1. You can’t force someone to be a friend. As much as you might like it, and want it, you and your significant other MUST be on the same page.

2. Things won’t be the same as they used to be. You and your person went through it all, and shared many memories together. There is a strong possibility you may not experience that same closeness y’all both shared.

Again, every relationship is different. These are only possibilities. It is up to you and your ex-partner if you both would like to explore that path. Your happiness and well-being should be the deciding factor in this decision.

If the relationship was unhealthy, then it’s a hard no. A friend is someone that’s going to be a positive influence in your life and will be there for you no matter what. By allowing someone that caused negativity in your life back in, you’re allowing yourself to get hurt again. Don’t do that. Don’t fill your life with negative people. You deserve to be happy and healthy, physically and mentally.

If a relationship ended badly, then it may be harder to establish a friendship. It’ll be like trying to fix a broken mirror. The pieces will fit back in place and it may look fine, but those scars will still be there. I’m not saying it’s impossible to form a friendship in these situations, but it will be more difficult and take time do so. Being patient is the key. Time will only tell if it’s meant to be.

My overall message is do what makes you happy. You have no obligation to be friends with your ex. Mending relationships and being friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is not the worse thing in the world. Be that person who decides their own fate. Be happy and don’t let negative people hold you back.

Until next time,

AJ

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