Independent Student Newspaper for the University of Texas at San Antonio

The Paisano

Independent Student Newspaper for the University of Texas at San Antonio

The Paisano

Independent Student Newspaper for the University of Texas at San Antonio

The Paisano

What NOT to do on spring break

10 Don’t get lost in the middle of nowhere with a flat tire and get swept up into the Annual Transylvanian Convention

9 Don’t fight a girl’s “seven evil exes” for a chance to date her. Even if her hair is pretty cool.

8 Don’t fall in love with a stowaway aboard a ship and promise to never let go.

7 Don’t volunteer as tribute. Also don’t become the symbol of the rebellion

6 Even if he saved your life, don’t take advice from a six-foot tall rabbit.

5 Don’t talk about Fight Club.

4 Don’t let vertically-challenged people talk you into following the yellow-brick road to fight with a witch over a pair of shoes. Also whatever he says, he’s not “great and powerful” ladies.

3 Don’t go when your local scientist asks you to film his latest experiment in the mall parking lot. When that thing hits 88 mph, you’ll want to be very far away from that serious sh-stuff.

2 Don’t go on a road trip to Las Vegas for your best friend’s bachelor/bachelorette party and lose him/her days before the wedding. What happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

1 Don’t commit armed robbery of a restaurant to be able to afford to go down to Florida for Spring Break.

Bonus: Do spend time with Netflix this Spring Break if any of the above confused you.

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