women wearing red lipstick and holding a pen

Big Sis Advice

In the context of relationships, this week’s topic is piping hot, especially with the holidays coming and the social pressure to find a boo for cuddling up with. I’ll save you the specific scenarios of pumpkin patch dates and matching Christmas sweaters. Instead, I want to talk about what makes us – as young college students – seek relationships. What are the deal breakers in most relationships? And if there are any, could everyone’s deal breakers be the same in a way?

A dear friend of mine had his eye on a girl and pried me for information about her before he decided to shoot his shot. And while I listed all of the things that I knew about her character and beliefs, one quality that she had was very obviously the opposite of his: political party affiliation. And while I saw this as something miniscule, he saw it as a deal breaker in her decision to date. Considering he isn’t very conservative and she rocks a Make America Great Again hat, this college Romeo and Juliet scenario was serving me the real hot tea. After asking my friend several times if she really wore those hats, I wanted to know, why would he think that it’s a deal breaker if he never tried? His answer was, “She may value her political views over a possible relationship and I’ve seen relationships not even start because of that.”

It was then that I realized that things like religion, political party affiliation and cultural values create deal breakers for who people choose to date all the time. While values are very important to stay consistent with and respect, I don’t see why a new approach to dating shouldn’t take place: an approach that allows you to hold different values and see where they might intersect. This probably sounds strange to everyone who knows that I’m a very opinionated liberal. However, what this week taught me is that these things shouldn’t be deal breakers. At the end of the day, we all have the same problems; fixing them or determining if they’re worth fixing, is up to you. 

For all of my political junkies,

Xoxo,

Big Sis

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